Are you compromising wrong?

Your Way or My Way- Compromise

If you’ve ever been in any kind of relationship (so, everyone), then you’re familiar with compromising. In fact, you’ve likely been doing it since before you were capable of making long-term memories. Because compromise is such a normal part of existing in a group, we can sometimes do it without knowing why or how we’re doing it. Take language for example, a native English speaker can speak and write with relatively good grammar, but they may not be able to pass a grammar test; this isn’t because they don’t know how to do it but rather because they can’t articulate exactly why they do it this way. The same goes for a compromise. It seems simple: I want A, and you want B. So, we get both A and B or we get A this time and B next time. 

Unfortunately, it isn’t always this simple, especially in romantic relationships. Generally, a compromise means that all parties involved in a conflict or decision make a concession in order to come to a choice that best serves everyone. It is an important part of any healthy relationship because it allows partners to meet their needs together, build trust, and honor and respect the other person or people. However, not every relationship always gets compromise right. This can turn an opportunity for connection into a conflict. 

For this article, we’re going to take a look at a single couple.* One partner wants to go to the zoo, and the other doesn’t for various reasons. We’ll take this couple through a few situations wherein they both can and cannot compromise.  

*While we’re looking at a couple in this blog, everything can be, and should be, applied to polyamorous relationships as well. 

WHAT IS A COMPROMISE? 

A compromise seems simple: it’s what happens when two or more parties each want something different, and each side makes a concession. Essentially, a compromise is truly as simple as it seems, as long as the issue at hand is an issue that can actually be compromised. Therein lies the main issue: not everything can be compromised and not knowing what to do when you’re stuck is not only unhelpful but can be harmful. 

WHAT PEOPLE GET WRONG ABOUT COMPROMISING

There are three main things people get wrong about compromise. 

1. They think everything can be compromised 

2. They get lost in the details and don’t see it from their partner’s perspective

3. They think compromise is about fairness

Yes, a compromise is about making sure that all parties are involved in a decision, but there are delicate components that are often overlooked. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you need to compromise, use this list to make sure you’ve checked all the boxes and strengthened your relationship in the process. Sometimes dinner and a movie isn’t just dinner and a movie.  

NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE A COMPROMISE 

An issue cannot be compromised when it involves deeper meaning, morals, hopes, and dreams. When something is of little consequence to us, we might assume that it’s of little consequence to our partner(s) as well. However, it’s not always that simple, and communication is key to figuring out whether the issue at hand can actually be compromised. So, let’s look at our couple: 

When the issue can be compromised: 

• Both partners just want a date afternoon and aren’t particularly opposed to either location for moral or ethical reasons. The location of the date is inconsequential as long as they’re together.

When the issue can’t be compromised: 

• One partner is morally or ethically opposed to the zoo 

• One partner has a deep emotional attachment to their chosen location 

If an issue, like where to go on your date, is of little consequence to you but your partner is really excited to go on a date at the zoo because they’re passionate about the animals, then maybe you just go to the zoo. However, if you’re morally opposed to zoos and refuse to patronize them, then you’ve found yourself at an impasse because this issue is no longer something that can be compromised. 

So, what do you do? Clearly, the zoo is out of the question, but your partner still wants to enjoy the immersive learning experience and day out that the zoo provides. Perhaps you can find an animal rescue to visit, you can volunteer and the animal shelter together, or spend the day at a science museum or botanical garden. This way, both people feel important and both people’s dreams and morals are being honored. 

If the compromise is something that leaves either person feeling like they aren’t being true to themselves or that they are going against what is right, good, ethical, or moral, then compromising won’t work. In fact, it’s likely to contribute to some bad feelings, distance, or possibly even resentment. Always make sure to determine why the other person wants what they want. What is inconsequential to you may not be to them. 

THEY GET LOST IN THE DETAILS AND DON’T SEE IT FROM THEIR PARTNER’S PERSPECTIVE

Oftentimes, people get stuck on trying to get what they want and end up getting lost in the details instead of working with their partner on the parts that actually matter. Compromise only works when the issue is purely circumstantial, like deciding whether to go to the zoo or the science museum. An issue that is not purely circumstantial would be when one partner wants to go to the zoo for their date night and one partner doesn’t think the zoo is “a good use of money right now.” 

In this zoo-going example, one partner could get so lost trying to convince their partner to go to the zoo that they fail to see the other person’s real concern. And the other partner could be so lost in the details about finances that they fail to see what the other person is really asking for. The partner who wants to go to the zoo really wants to spend quality time together somewhere they enjoy, and the other partner is really just concerned about having enough money to pay the bills. 

Getting lost in the details about what you really want makes it difficult to get down to the deeper meaning. In this instance, if the couple discusses their real concerns, they will likely be able to come up with a more cost-effective experience that is still somewhere they enjoy. However, if they get too lost in the details, they’ll likely end up with conflict instead of compromise.  

If there is a deeper meaning, you need to tend to that. If one partner is asked to sacrifice something deeply meaningful without feeling cared for regarding that issue, resentment can grow. Use this opportunity to make sure that your partner(s) feels like you’re hearing what they’re saying and understanding their concerns.  

COMPROMISE ISN’T ABOUT BEING FAIR

If you’re too busy “keeping score” to make sure that everything is fair, you might want to ask yourself and your partner(s) why. A relationship that is too focused on fairness is the perfect breeding ground for resentment. If scorekeeping is a consistent factor in your relationship, reach out to a relationship counselor. Deciding to go with A because you started with B last time works when something is entirely inconsequential, but it doesn’t work when you’re simply trying to make sure everything is fair.  

This is not to say that you shouldn’t consider fairness when compromising. If the sides seem to consistently lean in favor of one partner over the other(s), then you may be facing a bigger issue. Be honest with yourself and your partner(s) about what the trends in your relationship seem to be and seek counseling if needed. 

SOMETIMES YOU’LL FEEL STUCK AND WON’T HAVE AN ANSWER

If you do feel stuck, the first thing you should do is stop and ask why. Run through the list with your partner(s). You have to determine whether or not the issue can be compromised, and sometimes it’s not clear right away. It’s easy to make assumptions about what our partner(s) is thinking, but we’re oftentimes wrong. That said, there are two things to do first: 

1. Consider whether it’s about a deeper issue

2. Consider whether it’s measurably more important to one person

Once you’ve determined that it is an issue that can be compromised, decide if it’s more important to one partner. If your partner really wants to go to the zoo because it’s a meaningful experience for them, maybe you just go to the zoo.  

If it can’t be compromised, you and your partner will need to step back and maybe drop the issue altogether. For our couple, this might look like the zoo-going person going alone or with a friend and the two of them start planning the date from scratch.

Sometimes, compromise is just about doing what your partner wants because it’s more important to them than it is to you.  

THE BOTTOM LINE ABOUT COMPROMISES

Compromise really is an opportunity for all partners in a relationship to show each other that they matter. Everyone wants to feel like they matter and are special, especially in their romantic relationship. Talk with your partner(s) about the issue at hand and figure out whether it really is an issue of consequence. Whether or not it is, take advantage of the opportunity to allow you and your partner(s) to feel heard and cared for. Compromises can be beautiful moments of making sure that both partners feel held in the relationship. 

If you and your partner are struggling with conflict and compromising, you’re not alone. We help couples learn to compromise all the time and we can help you, too. Check out our page on Couples Counseling or reach out and get in touch to ask how we can help.

How Adding Play to Relationship Conflict Makes Chang`e Easier

INVITATIONS VS. ULTIMATUMS

Imagine you are on a playground. You’re ten years old and you are surrounded by several children your own age. One of the kids tells you about the ‘superman trick’ they can do on the merry-go-round. After they demonstrate the trick to you, they invite you and all of the other kids to try it out too. Everyone is laughing, falling, losing their balance, and having a great time.

Now imagine that exact same scenario, except for that when the kid suggested you try the trick, it came with an ultimatum; something like, “If you don’t do the trick, you can’t play with us anymore”. What started as a fun-filled adventure with some new friends is suddenly a pass-fail test with a high potential for loss or embarrassment. These two scenarios represent a concept I call, Play vs. Pressure Vulnerability.

Merry Go Round - Play & Relationships

PRESSURE INCREASES THE LIKELIHOOD OF MISTAKES

Even though it may have been a while since you were on a playground, this concept has likely shown up in different areas in your life. Consider the last time you were asked to change a behavior or try something new. Were you permitted to make mistakes? What were the consequences of failing to do it perfectly? While there are times when it makes sense for us to stress about a perfect performance or outcome (ie. exams, interviews, etc.), the pressure of perfection can negatively impact the quality of our performance.This is why balance between pressure and play is vital. The first child in the scenario above had the pressure of trying something new and difficult but it happened in the context of a fun game.

ULTIMATUMS AND LOSS-AVERSION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

If you have ever had a relationship where conflict was especially challenging, you may have issued or been given an ultimatum, like “change this behavior or we need to break up”. Generally, ultimatums like this create the pressure we just talked about. The pressure then causes partners to walk on eggshells around each other in fear of losing the relationship. This can make every requested or suggested change seem intimidating for two reasons. First, is “loss-aversion”, or the fear or avoidance one exhibits when there is a cost on-the-line (ie. relationship, money, etc.). Second, is vulnerability, which is a protective state the brain enters when it feels susceptible to harm or criticism. The more there is to lose, the more vulnerable you feel, which makes it much harder to initiate or perform well in new tasks (for some research on this subject, click here).

In order to identify how loss-aversion may be impacting your relationship, it may be helpful to slow down and ask yourself what you are afraid will happen if you make a mistake. For example, if your partner is asking you to offer them more compliments, you may fear that one of your compliments will come across as objectifying, which could lead them to decide to end things with you. This fear may provoke stagnation in the behavior, because the risk feels too high. Once you have identified the fear, it can be helpful to explore whether it is rational or if you are thinking in terms of worst-case scenarios. It is most helpful to reach out to your partner and create a shared vision of what is expected (ie. perfection, failure, retrying attempts, etc.) as you endeavor to repair behaviors.

ONCE WE TAKE CARE OF LOSS-AVERSION, HOW DO WE ADD PLAY?

Play exists in your relationship. Granted, it may not show up in the form of Monopoly every night, but there are countless examples of play in almost every relationship. This is why I encourage partners to look at ways they have fun together when they are not in conflict (i.e. video games, hiking, karaoke, etc.) and find creative ways to bring that form of play into the new task. For example, partners could talk about financial problems while playing on a playground, or they could talk about sexual needs while hiking. Engaging in play with our partners creates a connection we can rely on, even when our attempts to make change do not go as intended.

WHEN LOSS AVERSION IS TOO OVERWHELMING

Whether the stakes are a loss of the relationship, a night on the couch, or an awkward moment, we tend to place an undue amount of pressure on ourselves to behave perfectly in relationships because of loss-aversion. This can be especially challenging when one has attachment trauma, history of abandonment, or relational anxiety.

While trying this skill out at home is absolutely possible (in fact, here’s a helpful tool to get you started!), it may be challenging to work through some of the deeper issues without exploring them more fully. For those looking for a bit of extra guidance, we at Pivotal Counseling are here to help! Reach out to schedule a free consultation or read more about our approach to relational counseling. We’re here if you need us.

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Written by Leighanna Nordstrom, MA, MFTC

Leighanna is a relationship and sex therapist who has been with Pivotal Counseling, LLC since 2019. She works  online with clients who are located in Colorado and Wyoming. To learn more about her and see more of her blog articles.

Pivotal Counseling, LLC is the leading provider of relationship and sexuality counseling to people on the northern front range and throughout Colorado and Wyoming. We help people from their pre-teen years to their post-retirement years to have happier and healthier relationships with themselves, their sexuality, and their loved ones.

Why Resentment Crushes Hope in Relationships

FEELING STUCK IN CONFLICT?

When trying to move past relational conflict, do you ever get the feeling you are dragging around a huge weight that prevents you from making progress? You may hear the heartfelt things your partner is saying and believe they want change, but for some reason you do not trust that change is possible. Clients come in and try to explain this indescribable resistance to the changes they need to get back to happiness. I call this the bag of resentment, and it is one of the most frustrating obstacles to push past as partners work towards peace. 

WHAT IS RESENTMENT?

In a simple Google search, you would learn that resentment is the “bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly”. What is not addressed, though, is that resentment can form regardless of if someone is intending to treat us unfairly. Since the intention behind our behavior does not always match the impact (for more on this check out this blog) our partners may draw conclusions about our intentions and build resentment based on those conclusions. For example, you may have built resentment toward the fact that your partner seems to constantly be working late, but your partner may be doing this so that your household can continue to thrive. Though the feelings of disconnection are valid regardless of their intent, your partner may be unaware that resentment has formed, and therefore helpless to prevent its growth. 

WHAT IS THE BAG OF RESENTMENT?

Simply put, the bag of resentment is your collection of proof that your frustration, hurt, or anger towards your partner is justified. It is where you store moments of difficulty in the relationship that do not get addressed when they happen, but surface in later moments of conflict either internally or externally. Left unnoticed, the bag of resentment can become a little voice in your head that encourages you to extinguish trust in your partner and hope for change. Over time, this voice can become toxic and make you hypervigilant to your partner’s frustrating or challenging behaviors. While it does not always end relationships, the bag of resentment can do great harm to relationships on shaky ground. This is why it is so important to address conflict when it happens, rather than allowing it to go unnoticed. 

HOW DO I GET RID OF THE BAG OF RESENTMENT?

While a collection of resentment doesn’t always serve us, it does come from real experiences. As such, it is not rational or realistic to hope the resentment will dissipate when we agree to try a different way. So how can you put the bag of resentment down? 

There is an old saying that goes “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting he who hurt you to die”. Setting the bag of resentment down would be the antidote to the poison. To do this, it can be helpful to make a list of lessons you have learned from resentment and then look for resources to help use those lessons to make meaningful change. 

In relationships, I recommend that partners start by validating the existence of their partner’s resentment, which can be done whether they take responsibility for its creation or not. For example, one partner may say to the other, “I know it’s been really hard to deal with my busy work schedule and the way it impacts our connection. I’m committed to finding a different way to do things so that you do not have to feel that way anymore”. 

Once empathy and validation occurs, the partners can then make a simple commitment to one another; they both agree that as they are working toward change in their relationship, they will collect evidence about their efforts in two new “containers”. One is for efforts that have been successful or beneficial to the relationship. The other is for efforts that have gone poorly or had undesirable outcomes. While things that go in the first container can be celebrated and re-used, things that go in the second container will need to be evaluated. 

HOW DO I EVALUATE STRATEGIES?

Our culture doesn’t always do the best job teaching us foundational skills of communication. This means that when you enter therapy your clinician may start by asking you to practice things that seem juvenile or even childish. When clients discover that these skills are hard to learn after a lifetime of bad habits, they can be quick to discard them. While many of these skills are necessary for a healthy relationship dynamic, they can certainly be adapted to fit each unique relationship. This is why evaluation of ‘failures’ is a necessary part of growth . This begins with having a shared vision of desired outcomes. While it is important to create room for error as we work on new behaviors, it is helpful to discuss which specific parts of an intervention didn’t work in order to create space to make adjustments. It may be helpful to have an agreement with your partner about how long you will try an intervention before determining if it is useful or not. If evaluation feels uncomfortable or creates further conflict, it may be helpful to connect with a therapist who can help you navigate these challenging conversations. 

Sometimes, the basic strategies talked about above just aren’t quite enough. Maybe those bags are accompanied by breaks in trust, struggles with empathy, or other issues. If you or a partner are struggling to put down a bag of resentment or two (or three, or four) for any reason, we can help. Visit our couples counseling page or schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists to talk with us about your unique situation.

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Written by Leighanna Nordstrom, MA, MFTC

Leighanna is a relationship and sex therapist who has been with Pivotal Counseling, LLC since 2019. She works  online with clients who are located in Colorado and Wyoming. To learn more about her and see more of her blog articles.

Pivotal Counseling, LLC is the leading provider of relationship and sexuality counseling to people on the northern front range and throughout Colorado and Wyoming. We help people from their pre-teen years to their post-retirement years to have happier and healthier relationships with themselves, their sexuality, and their loved ones.

A Couples Therapist Reaction to Showtime’s “Couples Therapy”

THE PROBLEM WITH MOST TV THERAPY

Therapy shown on TV has traditionally walked the line between professional ethics violations and melodramatic reality shows. From Dr. Phil’s charming ‘no-nonsense’ attitude that parades ‘real’ folks in a near constant crisis stream, to the dramatized view of therapists as mysterious and broken healers with very few boundaries in shows like “Private Practice” or “House, M.D.”, therapy in popular media is often “Big Brother” with more books and furrowed brows. Of course I watched them all (and loved them) but thinking that Dr. Phil’s show has given an accurate depiction of the therapy process is like watching "Grey’s Anatomy” and thinking I am ready to perform my first triple bypass surgery. 

“COUPLES THERAPY” SYNOPSIS 

Then in walked Showtime’s mini-documentary series “Couples Therapy” which advertises itself as real therapy that follows a set of four couples as they work with a licensed therapist. Immediately, the tone of the show struck me with its realism and sharpness. The couples in the show are actually couples, made up of people sitting uncomfortably in the waiting room, fidgeting with their clothes, whose self-conscious, nervous laughter fills the silence. Dr. Orna, a quiet and somewhat unassuming woman with a fiercely direct presence, introduces herself as a psychoanalyst who will be leading the sessions. The couple’s names are shown to the viewer, they walk into the room, and the session begins. It's being recorded and so some level of performance is present, but the thrust of the show is just what the title suggests: bringing the viewer into a specific session of couples therapy. 

As a couples therapist, I was transfixed. The show finds a way to capture the magic and alchemy of the therapy room with a clear sense of respect for the process and all of those involved. The issues that are talked about range from the exploration and processing of childhood trauma, potential personality disorders, sexual disconnection, to the dissolution of relationships. These couples are real and bring their real problems to the therapy room hopeful for real solutions. Couples talk over each other, shut down, scream, say hurtful things, cry, all while Dr. Orna puts on a masterclass of therapeutic intervention. I quickly saw parts of myself and my relationships in the couples while also marveling at the uniqueness and particularity of the human experience.

THE SELF OF THE THERAPIST

The show’s genius rests squarely on Dr. Orna. Instead of presenting her as the enigmatic guru, unreachable at the top of some mountain, the documentary clearly tracks her process. She frequently narrates what she is noticing in between sessions and shows footage of her working with her clinical advisor and peer advisory group. Instead of having all the answers, Dr. Orna leans into the mystery of human change and transformation. She gets frustrated. She gets confused. She asks for help. Dr. Orna, is ultimately portrayed as a real, breathing, feeling person, just as all therapists are. “Couples Therapy” at its core, asserts that therapy is a human process, where humans meet together and try to find a way out of stress and suffering and towards happiness and meaning. This process is messy, non-linear, and quite often painful. But it works. The viewer sees the impact that the therapeutic process has on the couple and the therapist and it feels genuine and quite often precious.  

WHAT THERAPY IS AND WHAT THERAPY ISN’T

“Couples Therapy'' differs from other depictions of therapy in popular media in that it showcases actual, evidenced-based, psychoanalytic intervention in practice. Dr. Orna may present her process as one of realization, discovery, and continued effort towards a better approach but she is nonetheless doing highly intricate treatment. From a professional standpoint, her integration of best practice in sessions is clear and a breath of fresh air for the genre. Not every therapist will run a session like Dr. Orna (and they shouldn’t) but her sessions demonstrate what a high quality session of couples therapy could feasibly look and feel like. The show provides an example of the process, across a period of time, without skipping over the painful parts or emphasizing the successes. It's fundamentally about understanding the human experience, not exploiting it purely for entertainment’s sake. And it is captivating. 

When considering coming to therapy, it can be difficult to imagine what the process will be like, how it will feel, if it will be worth it. Part of this hesitancy, I think, comes from the kinds of popular stories we have in our cultural awareness about what therapy is. We know that our therapy won’t happen on national television, but what if it feels humiliating or exploitative? What if my therapist is an unreachable jerk or fails to demonstrate appropriate ethical boundaries? While these stories are possible, it is important to have parallel stories that depict some of the better possibilities as well. Maybe, like in Dr. Orna’s sessions, you will experience a sense of presence and connection with your therapist that is both comforting and empowering. Maybe you will understand why you do some of the things you do with startling clarity. Maybe you will learn to see and even to love yourself and your partner all over again (or for the first time!). 

THERAPY CAN BE FOR YOU TOO!

If you don’t know what therapy could look like apart from a studio audience and A-list actors, I suggest watching an episode or two of “Couples Therapy”. You will see people talking and a lot of questions; probably some tears as well. But keep watching and see if you can catch the sparks of realization, the moments of magic where change happens, or the deepening of heartfelt connection that makes the therapeutic process so powerful.

If you too would like to try out actual therapy, in all its messy, wonderful, human glory by yourself or with partners, we would love to journey alongside you. Visit our couples counseling page or schedule a free consultation with one of our therapists to talk with us about how we can help.

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Written by Conrad Frommelt, M.Ed., BCBA

Conrad is a clinical intern specializing in relationships and sexuality with Pivotal Counseling, LLC. He sees clients online and at both the Greeley and Fort Collins, CO offices. To learn more about him or see more of his blog articles.

Pivotal Counseling, LLC is the leading provider of relationship and sexuality counseling to people on the northern front range and throughout Colorado and Wyoming. We help people from their pre-teen years to their post-retirement years to have happier and healthier relationships with themselves, their sexuality, and their loved ones.

Couples Communication: It's not what you said, it's how you said it!

Relationships afford us opportunities for fun, play, creativity, safety, and growth. The scariest thing about growing in a relationship is being told what we are getting wrong by a person we love and trust. It is especially hard when the way they tell us their feelings comes across as harsh and hurtful. After all, that is where the old saying, “It’s not what you said, it’s the way you said it” comes from.

It is rare in a healthy relationship that your partner is attempting to wound you with what they say or how they say it. Despite that fact, sadness, hurt, or anger are the common responses that follow their feedback. So, what do we do when our partner tries to share their feedback with us and it causes pain?

PERSPECTIVES MATTER

It starts by recognizing that people see the world in uniquely different ways, which can make it challenging to communicate difficult things clearly. Moving toward healthier communication requires a willingness to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand their perspective.

In the past few years, a new pattern of communication has emerged, called ‘Intent vs. Impact’, which encourages people to explore why a person said what they said and how it landed with the person who heard it.

DEFINING INTENT AND IMPACT

Most often, when a person initiates feedback in a relationship, they are trying to address thoughts and feelings and create positive consequences for all members of the relationship. This is defined as one’s intent. In all healthy relationships, it is important to be willing to look at the “why” behind the feedback, to make sure the feedback is thoughtful and useful.

Hearing feedback from one’s partner can provoke any number of thoughts and feelings associated, though sometimes only loosely, with what was said. This is defined as the impact. As the recipient of feedback, it is important to be able to articulate how it landed and what thoughts and feelings it provoked, as you are the only one who has access to that information. As the partner giving feedback, hearing and being accepting of the impact is vital to moving the conversation forward into a productive space.

WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT?

While it may seem typical of a therapist to say, one is not more important to healthy communication. Both are valid and have their place in every conversation. However, what is most important is the timing of when to acknowledge each component.

It is somewhat common for a partner to want to justify their intentions, especially when they are caught off guard by the impact it had on their partner. Unfortunately, this can come across as insisting that the hurt feelings do not matter, because the intentions were pure. This is why thoroughly addressing the impact of feedback tends to be of a higher priority.

For example, let’s say Sam (he/him) and Alex (they/them) are getting ready for date night. Sam makes a lighthearted comment like, “I like the blue shirt better”. Alex ends up feeling insulted, but they may already know that Sam had no intention of insulting them. Since that knowledge doesn’t erase the impact, Alex chooses to let Sam know they felt hurt by the comment.

Most therapists would recommend that Alex carefully explain the impact it had on them. Sam would need to listen to the impact of his words with an open mind, and then empathize and validate how Alex experienced what he said. Having done this, Sam can then ask for permission to explain the intention behind his comment. When Alex is ready, they can listen to what Sam was hoping to accomplish when he gave the feedback. If necessary, the partners can then discuss how to offer similar feedback in the future in a way that will land better.

THIS IS A PROBLEM IN MY RELATIONSHIP: WHAT DO I DO?

For some partners, the knowledge that this new form of communication is out there will come as a breath of fresh air or an exciting new challenge. For others, it can feel incredibly daunting. If you notice misunderstandings popping up often in your relationship, or if you find yourself fearful of offering your partner(s) feedback, getting connected with a qualified therapist can be a helpful step in adjusting communication patterns.

OUR COUNSELORS HELP COUNTLESS RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOP HEALTHIER, HEALING COMMUNICATION AND WE CAN HELP YOU, TOO. VISIT OUR COUPLES COUNSELING PAGE OR SCHEDULE A FREE CONSULTATION WITH ONE OF OUR THERAPISTS TO TALK WITH US ABOUT YOUR NEEDS AND HOW WE CAN HELP.

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Pivotal Counseling, LLC is the leading provider of relationship and sexuality counseling to people on the northern front range and throughout Colorado and Wyoming. We help people from their pre-teen years to their post-retirement years to have happier and healthier relationships with themselves, their sexuality, and their loved ones.