This blog article is part of a series of blog articles about the six Sexual Health Principles developed by Doug Braun-Harvey. You can learn more about the principles, Doug, and his work at his website.
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Consent, at its most basic definition, means: “permission for something to happen or agreement to do something”. That means that the use of force such as abuse, assault, and rape as well as sexual activity with those that cannot consent can never fall within sexual health. But let’s take a deeper dive into what consent really looks like in practice and discuss why consent is necessary for sexual health.
Consent at a Deeper Level
Planned Parenthood describes the nuances of consent using the acronym F.R.I.E.S.
Freely Given: Consent must be given free from coercion, manipulation, or pressure. ‘Yes’ is not consensual if there is not an option to say ‘no’.
Reversible: Consent requires space for the ‘yes’ to be withdrawn or for the agreement to be changed at any point during the experience.
Informed: Informed consent means that each person knows and agrees to all of the information taking place within the sexual experience.
Enthusiastic: Enthusiastic consent is saying ‘yes’ to what you really want to do, rather than saying ‘yes’ only because you think you should or feel expected to.
Specific: Consenting to one part of a sexual experience does not mean you’re obligated to consent to everything. Saying ‘yes’ to going to the bedroom doesn’t mean you’ve said ‘yes’ to sex.
Why is Consent Key?
Consent builds trust. By communicating boundaries with a sexual partner, we respect ourselves and our bodies. By listening to a sexual partner’s boundaries, we respect them and their bodies. Consent is the foundation for sexual safety and connection.
Consent empowers autonomy. When we have the ability to choose our sexual experience, we are more able to step into our desires and explore our sexual relationships with more authenticity and pleasure.
Feel free to read the rest of the articles in this blog series:
Sexual Health Principle 1: Consent (this article)
Sexual Health Principle 2: Non-Exploitation
Sexual Health Principle 3: Honesty
Sexual Health Principle 4: Shared Values
Sexual Health Principle 5: Protected from STI, HIV, and Unwanted Pregnancy