protected means protection

Not only does the term ‘sexual health’ go much deeper than just this one principle (as we’ve outlined in the other blog posts in this series), this principle goes much deeper than just the title suggests. In its most straightforward meaning, protection from STI, HIV, and unwanted pregnancy means just that–having safe sex options, such as condoms and PrEP, and contraceptive options, including IUDs/oral birth control pills, condoms, etc.

protected also means educated

Expanding on this most basic meaning, this sexual health principle is also about education, access to that education, and access to reproductive health treatment. Education must include scientifically and medically accurate information about sexually transmitted infections and barriers that prevent infection, as well as information on contraceptive options for all genders. Access to reproductive health treatment includes access to STI/HIV tests, reproductive cancer screenings, fertility treatments, family planning information, and so much more.

And protected also means empowered

Protection from STI, HIV, and unwanted pregnancy is incredibly important for sexual health due to the implications and possible outcomes that consequently happen without this principle (spread of infections, for example). Sexual health requires open, honest communication about these topics in our sexual relationships so that everyone is empowered to make informed decisions about the care they take of themselves within sexual encounters.

Feel free to read the rest of the articles in this blog series:

Sexual Health Principle 5: Protected from STI, HIV, and Unwanted Pregnancy (this article)

This blog article is part of a series of blog articles about the six Sexual Health Principles developed by Doug Braun-Harvey. You can learn more about the principles, Doug, and his work at his website.

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Pleasure is one of our main motivators for seeking sexual experiences (whether solo or partnered). Because it feels good! Pleasure is at the core of sex. However, it’s often excluded from our discourse about sexuality. And that can lead to some really big problems.

Problem 1: not understanding what pleasure encompasses

When most people think of sexual pleasure, they think of orgasms. And of course they do! Orgasms are a wonderful source of pleasure. And, they are only a part of sexual pleasure. Touching, caressing, holding, tickling, grabbing, nuzzling, squeezing, kissing, sucking, slapping, grinding, massaging, and a host of other things (all consensually done, of course) can be wonderfully pleasurable also for both the giver and the receiver. Even just watching a partner be sexual–such as watching them masturbate–can be pleasurable for the watcher.

Most people don’t think of pleasure that way though and it means that they end up missing out on so much!

Problem 2: Shame

We are bombarded with so many conflicting messages about sexual pleasure by society and culture, loudly broadcast through song lyrics, movies and television and softly (sometimes loudly) reinforced by well-intentioned but misinformed parents, partners, educators, peers, and clergy. There’s something “dirty” about sex being pleasurable, so they tell us. It’s referenced with winks and nods, scowls and furrowed eyebrows. Sexual activity being pleasurable is treated as though it is an unfortunate consequence.

When we don’t teach that pleasure is supposed to be part of sex, we open the door to shame. People feel badly about wanting to experience sexual pleasure. And if they do want it, they worry then that something is wrong with them: that they’re broken or “perverted”.

Pleasure is not a bug in our sexual programming; it’s a fantastic feature! We as human beings are wired to experience pleasure in touch of all forms. It’s why we pay money to get a massage and hug our loved ones. Being wired for pleasure in touch is why skin lotion is a multi-billion dollar industry. It’s why infants (and grown-ups) find so much soothing and peace when they experience skin-to-skin contact. Sexual pleasure is simply an extension and form of touch pleasure.

Problem 3: Sex as a pass/fail test

If the measure of successful or ‘correct’ sex is penetration or orgasm, that closes the door to a lot of sexual experiences. It also means that sexual experiences that could otherwise be wonderful and fulfilling will end up being seen as ‘failed’ or ‘insufficient’. People for whom penetration or orgasm is impossible or difficult or painful will close themselves off to sex because they can’t ‘get it right’.

However, when pleasure is the measure, the door to sexuality and sexual experiences can be thrown wide open. We can welcome variety, flexibility, and playfulness to our sexual experiences. There is more room for experimentation and exploration because our focus is on the journey of pleasure through the sexual experience, rather than the destination of orgasm. Remember: many roads lead to pleasure…only a few roads lead to orgasm.

Feel free to read the rest of the articles in this blog series:

Sexual Health Principle 1: Consent

Sexual Health Principle 2: Non-Exploitation

Sexual Health Principle 3: Honesty

Sexual Health Principle 4: Shared Values

Sexual Health Principle 5: Protected from STI, HIV, and Unwanted Pregnancy

Sexual Health Principle 6: Pleasure (this article)